Rachel Green - is she really a bitch?

I liked Rachel Green when I first watched FRIENDS and still do. So I was a little surprised when a friend of mine referred to her as a bitch. What's more, searching a bit on the internet told me that there are many people who share that opinion about her, mainly because of the kind of relationship she shared with Ross. (It is pretty much fantastic that on one hand this was a relationship that many shipped for and on the other hand an equal no of people, if not more, thought that one of them did not deserve the other!) It led me into thinking, was one of my favorite character real a bitchy person? Bitchy enough to hate?

So, first question first. Who do we call a bitchy person? I suppose someone who is mean and rude in general, has no regard for other people's feelings and complains (bitches) a lot about people and situations when they don't get what they want.

Rachel Green in season one

The first time we see Rachel, she has run away from her wedding and from a sheltered life because she realized she didn't love the person she was going to marry. Turns out Bary didn't love her either and was in fact cheating on her with her best friend and also her sister, Amy (Amy confesses it herself in season 10). So, good for her that she ran away. However, considering the upbringing she had had and the environment she lived in, this by itself is a tremendous step because lets recall Amy was completely fine with marrying a person she did not love but had a great apartment. Rachel is also aware that she has not been fair to Bary and apologizes to him over the phone and is also considerate of his emotions when she decides to go to him to give back the ring. Is that what a bitchy person does? She also refuses to bow in front of her father and decides to make it on her own and begins by being a waitress. Lets just take a moment to realize how hard this must be for a person who previously got a boat because her pony was sick! She doesn't complain about it though and is rather happy learning new stuff like doing her laundry and cleaning the apartment as a thank you to Monica (who couldn't let go of the fact that she moved the green ottoman!). When Ross tells her on the very first night itself that he likes her, she is pretty cool and sweet about it. When Phoebe tells her that Paolo made a pass at her (or more like tried to molest her), Rachel wasn't mad at her (a bitch would) but instead makes a clean break with Paolo. Even when she got her first paycheck and realized it was not worth it while are friends form her previous life were doing great, she has a minor breakdown but is still sorry that she ruined Monica and Phoebe's evening and is really okay at the end with having great friends. Not a bitch. She does get upset with Monica once because she didn't think of her as capable enough and hired a waitress from work but only for a moment and helped her out eventually. They also have a small fight during the 'insurance fraud' episode but both of them were being mean to each other and neither of them really meant it. And in the poker episode Ross was being mean in the first place and Rachel just gave him back what he deserved. At one point, when the monkey gets lost and the women from the animal control department turned out to be from their high school and complains about what a bitch Rachel has been to her, I thought it might be true but I don't buy it after seeing later episodes (more on this when we talk about Will).

I guess one part where she was really wrong when she decided to sleep with Bary despite knowing that he was engaged to Mindy. But when Mindy came to talk to her about being the bridesmaid, Rachel was honest with her although she didn't have to be and went with her to talk to Bary. So if you accept your mistakes and try to rectify them, are you still a bad person?

Rachel: 1; Bitchiness: 0 

Rachel Green in Season 2

I guess this is where the bitchiness starts. Rachel is completely mean and rude to Julie for no fault of hers. She is constantly bitching behind her back, trying to mess up their sex life and is mad at Monica for going shopping with her brother's girlfriend. She pretends to be nice to her and calls her a manipulating bitch for being nice to her. Truth be spoken, the scenes might have been funny but Julie didn't deserve this from Rachel. Also the fact that she goes out on a date with the actor guy despite knowing that Monica had a huge crush on him was also a mean thing to do to your friend. Some people might say it was wrong on her part to make such a huge deal about the 'list' too but I don't think so. She was right to be hurt and doubtful about their relationship after that. Also I don't understand what was the big deal about the prom video that Rachel decided to go back to Ross. But once they did start their relationship she was again very sweet and supportive. She was not upset or make a scene when Ross had to go to the museum due to an emergency on their date (unlike Ross one year later). And she scores brownie points in the final episode where she decided to attend Bary and Mindy's wedding only because she had promised her friend and doesn't ruin it by talking about Bary's unfaithfulness when he makes snide remarks about her. That takes some courage!

Rachel: 1.5 Bitchiness: 0.5 

Rachel Green in Season 3

The main event in Rachel Karen Green's life in season 3 is of course her break up with Ross. And the reason that led to her break up was due to her landing a job at Bloomingdale's due to a chance meeting with a stranger named Mark. Lets get this straight, she didn't flirt with Mark to get that job. She was coached and landed the job solely based on merit and after two years of meaningless coffee serving when she finally got a chance to do something with her life, she decided to give it her all. She is working hard while her boyfriend is sending her gifts out of possessiveness, doubting her fidelity, going to classes with her out of jealousy and falling asleep and bringing a picnic basket because he doesn't feel that he has girlfriend anymore a few weeks after she got the job. Sans the last incident, Rachel is really accumulative and tries to make him understand her point of view again and again which he pretends to get but doesn't. I believe that if Ross hadn't made their problems obvious in her office by screaming at Mark or sending a barbershop quartet, she wouldn't have discussed any of it with Mark (she did consider him her friend at that point). Then happens the break, she acts silly by not discussing what it actually means, letting Mark come over and then refusing to take any responsibility when she discovers Ross had slept with someone. But once they break up she doesn't bitch about Ross to any of her friends neither does she try to make them take her side (unlike Ross). She, despite the hurt she herself must be going through, doesn't try to gain anybody's sympathy, throw a tantrum or try to guilt trip her friends into spending time with her. That according to me is actually very mature thing to do and not at all bitchy. She tries to get back at Ross by going out with Mark but then again doesn't go through with it and is honest with Mark. Many people blame Rachel for making Bonnie shave her head but it was actually Bonnie's own decision. Just because someone told you they think your idea is great doesn't make it their doing. It was Bonnie who said that she thinks about shaving her head again and Rachel told her it would be great. If Ross was dating her only because of her looks and sexuality and not because of the person she was, then it served him right that he found it difficult to continue the relationship. And Rachel didn't do this to get back at Ross, she genuinely thought that she might still want to be with him.

Rachel: 2.5 Bitchiness: 0.5

Rachel Green in Season 4

I know most people say that Rachel shouldn't have made Ross break up with Bonnie if she wasn't sure and was going to base their relationship on Ross's reaction to her 18 page letter. But I feel that was not what she meant. If Ross had actually read the complete letter, he would not have given an yes or no answer to her 'does it?' question. Instead there would have been a lengthy discussion because lets face it, if a woman writes 18 pages about a man and their relationship, there got to be some substance in it. Maybe she did own some responsibility somewhere too, we don't know because Ross never read that complete letter and then lied to her about it. It might have actually led them to resolve their issues. (And ridiculing her for writing it? She was awake the whole time too waiting for him to come back after having read it. It meant a lot to her. Anyways this post is not about Ross and Rachel. Its about Rachel.) So they are mean to each other for a few episodes, but there are other people in Rachel's life too. For instance, Joanna's other assistant Sophie. Joanna obviously favors Rachel and mistreats Sophie and Rachel could have easily tried to demean her in front of her boss but she doesn't. In fact she is actually pretty nice to Sophie and they might even be good friends. 

She is mean though ruining all the planning Ross did for Emily's last night just so that she could impress Joshua. But she was completely supportive and nice to Ross when he tells everyone about his decision to marry Emily despite what she personally was going through. And Phoebe hadn't put the idea in her head that she loved Ross, she wouldn't have thought about going to London and telling him about it (seriously, if for so long the friends had been talking about it behind her back, what was the need to tell her at that point?). But even then she doesn't tell Ross anything when she sees how happy and excited he is about the wedding. Because she has a good heart and is not a bitch.

Rachel: 3.5 Bitchiness: 0.5

Rachel Green in Season 5

In the beginning she is crazy, trying to tell a married guy that she loves him and just as easily laughing it off and falling out of 'love' by the time Ross is divorced (which makes me believe that she didn't really loved him but just got the idea from Phoebe and was emotionally vulnerable at that time). And she also tries to break the group when she thinks she might be left out when Emily demands that Ross doesn't see Rachel anymore. Her craziness continues while dealing with Danny, playing all the games in her head and blaming Monica for ruining the 'plan'. And in the end when Ross sees her naked in the apartment and mistakenly thinks she wants to sleep with him, she keeps bringing it up again and again until it becomes a game, snowballs into a night of drunkenness and they getting married to each other (the marriage being her idea). Although I don't see any of this as bitchiness but simply being too childish and immature.

She also does a number of good things. She is genuinely happy for Monica and Chandler and keeps their secret and even pretends to not know anything for Monica's benefit. In the flashback episodes we see that though Rachel was the popular one and Monica was fat and therefore, implicitly, someone who would not be in the popular circles, Rachel was still best friends with her and actually considered her as a person, caring for her thoughts and emotions. Would a bitchy person do that in high school? When she thinks that she has been called for a second interview because she kissed in the first one, she protests and directly states that she wont put out to get the job - not a bitch, rather a person with lot of self-respect and integrity. By this point, she is also genuinely over Ross and gets the pizza delivery girl's number for him and doesn't even make it evident (good friend?). She is also honest with him and tells him when Emily calls (despite Monica's reservations) and guides him to think of it as 'close-call-day'.

Rachel: 4.5 Bitchiness: 0.5 (Craziness: 2)

Rachel Green in Season 6

(coming soon....)