Ross Geller is the absolute worst!!

I started watching friends about four years back and have never stopped since. Over the years my opinion about the show and its characters has changed with every new viewing until (I think) they have finally reached a saturation point. And after all these years, if their is one character that I cant even stand watching, it is Ross Geller. To tell the truth, the first time I watched friends I absolutely loved him and sooooo wanted Ross and Rachel to get together until Joey fell for Rachel in season 8. Even then, when the final episode aired and Rachel came back to him I was happy. I mean, why wouldn't I be? It was the first time I was watching the show, enjoying the jokes and chemistry of the main actors and I wanted the never-getting-what-he-deserved guy to finally win the girl he had pined for ages. Also, didn't every single character in the show mention it thousand of times that Rachel was his one true love and what a sweet, caring, loving and nice guy Ross was? I believed what the characters told me then.

Except that, they were all lying!! On both accounts.

I wont go into the 'Ross and Rachel' arc over here, that's for another post. Lets just talk about, Ross, the person.

Ross in relationships

Ross's story begins as a guy who has just been divorced for no fault of his - his wife has discovered her sexuality and decided to live with her lesbian life-partner instead. He is understandably heartbroken and, in his own words, just wants to be married again. Immediately Rachel re-enters his life and it is pretty obvious that he has got a huge crush on her. He asks her in the end of the pilot episode whether she would be OK with starting things between them and she says yes. And then goes an entire year with Ross doing nothing about it, or should I say nothing constructive about it. He mocks Paolo behind his back and calls him names, he reacts at her angrily when she loses the monkey and scolds her for being oblivious to others' feelings (it's her fault that she doesn't realize his feelings by herself) and hides messages for her from other guys. If Chandler didn't have that slip of tongue, Ross and Rachel would never have happened.

When Chandler eventually convinces him to move on he goes to China where he meets Julie and starts dating her. Which would be fine if he really cared for her or her feelings. The moment he realizes that Rachel wants him, he goes and breaks up with Julie. Why date someone if you don't want to be as involved as they are? Of course, he also makes the infamous list about Rachel. Lets not go into whether he was right or wrong in making that list. When Rachel is angry because of that, he at one point states, 'are we done with this yet?' As if she is simply throwing some silly tantrum. But they eventually get together, she is always there in the coffee shop or in the apartment whenever he needs her, willing to make time for emergencies at his job, babysitting his son from time to time and everything goes well until Rachel lands a job. Then all the goofiness and cuteness simply vanishes from his character and he goes all screaming (can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his gf's office ANYMORE?!) and jealous on her. He tells her that the job is just a job, tells her that it is lower compared to his work and that he doesn't feel like he has a girlfriend anymore (meaning she is not available to him always like before and this just a couple of weeks after she gets a job she really wants to do). He neither listens to her nor trusts her about Mark. They have their fight, they have their 'break', both do stupid things and refuse to accept responsibility and their relationship ends for the time being. What does Ross do? He whines to his friends trying to make them take his side and tries to guilt-trip them into spending more time with him. He goes to his ex-wife and disregarding any plans that she might have, ruins her efforts and lies to her about Rachel, saying it was she who cheated on him. He makes no effort to win her back (which anyone would if it is the love of their life in question) but gets angry on her again when she tries to move on, yelling at her for returning his things or going out with someone else. Not to mention how he assumes at one point that Rachel wants to see him because she wants him back, cause, you know, he is that good. Of course, he makes one or two big gestures in between (giving up the TV appearance) because without them it would be plain for everyone to see what a horrible person he is. He is so afraid of rejection that he again does nothing and hooks up with Bonnie. Which should have been good if he was really moving on or cared about her at all but, no! The moment Rachel tells him that she is confused and maybe wants to be with him again that he breaks up with Bonnie too. Seriously, if you still have feelings for another woman why play with someone else's time and emotions again and again? The said reconciliation with Rachel lasts for a day maybe cause he didn't read the letter that she had obviously put a lot of thought into. It really makes me wonder that if he had read all that she had to say and they had discussed all the issues that led to their first break up and tried to resolve them like mature adults, their relationship might actually have been a lot smoother. Instead, he mocks her for writing 18 pages, front and back (rambled on, he says), corrects her grammar and they break up again with a fight.

Gosh!! I am tired of Ross and his relationships already but we are just in the beginning of season 4. When comes Emily. They are sweet and happy together, having fun and doing crazy stuff. But their relationship starts in the first place because Monica convinces Ross to have the fairy-tale foreign romance that she herself wanted to have (seriously, what is it with everyone trying to convince people about the love that they themselves have no inkling about. Later Phoebe convinces Rachel about her love for Ross before the wedding which definitely wasn't, otherwise she wouldn't be over him by the time he was divorced, again!). Ross, again, wants Emily to spend as much time with him as possible, what if she has a job and life in England? The answer is of course, marriage! They rush through the entire procedure and Ross makes time to be upset with Rachel, because what reason would she have to not wanting to attend his marriage a year after they broke up? So they have the wedding at London, he says the wrong name, she gets mad and he decides to go to their honeymoon with Rachel (real mature). Emily, wanting to still give it a chance, sees them and Ross leaves Rachel alone in the plane to go after her. Doesn't work. They eventually start talking but by that time Emily is so insecure and doubtful that their marriage had to end. So Ross has his divorce along with a psychological breakdown, turning into a screaming-at-the-drop-of-a-hat person (out of which he sadly never recovers). He still goes on occasional dates, tries to flirt (horribly) with the pizza delivery girl and upon seeing Rachel naked, assumes (again) that she wants to sleep with him. How high an opinion does he have of himself? He and Rachel then both get drunk and end up married. Now, Ross doesn't want to have a third divorce before he is thirty and it doesn't matter that there is another person involved. He chooses to lie to Rachel about their annulment and tries to get her to move in with him and maybe fall in love with him again (he is so charming!) so that when she finds out the truth she will be happy!! That plan goes down the drain and he moves on. He whitens his teeth excessively to impress a girl and then screams at her for noticing, he dates Rachel's sister and then stops because he doesn't want to mess any chance that he might still have with Rachel (is it supposed to be romantic? if you like someone, do something about it. If not then move on. Why simply wait for something to happen?). He dates a student but doesn't want her to go on a spring break (because he doesn't trust what she says) and then unable to stop her, goes along with her and then breaks up with her for not being mature enough (do you ever see the mirror, Mister?).

He also screams at a date for trying to make conversation and then sleeps with Rachel and gets her pregnant. He dates Mona during the pregnancy but doesn't tell her about it until Rachel's Dad makes a scene, gives her a key to his apartment and then changes the lock, doesn't tell her about Rachel moving in with him and keeps her waiting a number of times because he simply forgot all about her. Why Ross, why? She was perfectly amazing, even listening to his stories with interest and being sweet and understanding, all things considered. She is hot enough for you to date, but not enough to care about? Poor girl, she actually believed Ross loved her and that's why came back to her apartment later. So, Rachel has his baby and he decides to see if they could start things again because, for the umpteenth time, everyone else manage to convince him (love of life and epic romantic story, really?). A misunderstanding messes that up and they continue as roommates where Ross, like before, hides her messages and when sees her kissing someone, gets angry and decides to find a date for himself without any conversation (why did I root for him the first time? David, you are an amazing actor!). They separate because of that and Ross eventually dates Charlie (a female Ross-equivalent) who dumps him because she still has feelings for her ex! The show ends and he gets Rachel. Not before trying to manipulate things behind her back and get her the old job again by bribing to make her stay and also making a scene before her departure for not having an appropriate goodbye. Did he deserve Rachel, or any woman for that matter, at all?

Ross and his family

Maybe he is bad boyfriend/husband. Is he a good brother? Son? Father? Well, anyone who has seen the show knows that his parents believe him to be the best son in the world. We don't know whether that's true or not. But he is awful to his sister. He mocks Monica every chance that he gets for being overweight during her earlier life and enjoys the privilege that his parents bestow on him believing that Monica (and all women for that matter) are below him and owe him something, for some reason. He wants her to make her thanksgiving dinner for him but is not at all thankful for that. He almost stays in her apartment during his relationship with Rachel and makes her life a hell (Okay!). He screams at their parents about her relationship with Chandler to get back at her which could have had negative repercussions. Of course, some would argue that he is still nice to her overall but he never acknowledges how hard Monica's childhood have been because of the privileges given to him nor he does try to reject those same privileges in adulthood. Rather, he screams when Monica gets the Porsche just cause all her boxes were ruined.

He tries to kiss his cousin, Cassie!

And he is an awful father! The people who enter his life later most probably wont even know that he has a son named Ben! Ben is not invited to his second wedding and is completely ignored during Monica's. He is more involved in Emma's upbringing but when Rachel decides to move to Paris, he is not at all concerned about the distance that would put between him and Emma. And what kind of person passes their own relationship problems on to their child? (and that's why, no matter what mommy says, we were on a break, oh yes we were!) Ugh!

Ross and friends

So the show is about friends. Maybe Ross is a good friend at least. Lets consider the women first. Well, Ross and Rachel were never truly friends, their relationship and history being too complicated. Monica was his sister. That leaves Phoebe. Phoebe and her unscientific ways have always ruffled Ross, whether it is talking about evolution, cleansing his aura or finding her mother in her cat. Ross never tried to understand where she came from although there were some pretty big gestures there too (buying her first bike which I still find very sweet).

Chandler was easily his best friend what with both of them sharing an awkward relation with women and their inability to flirt. They did seem to have an honest friendship and definitely better than what he had with the rest, most probably because he considered Chandler almost his equal. (besides its not really easy to mess around with Miss Chanandler Bong! He would give you back such sarcastic replies that you would be shut up for the rest of the day!) Lastly Joey. Sure like everyone else Ross mocks his occasional stupidity (although sometimes he is so stupid that he goes beyond even that) but I can never forgive Ross for his treatment when Joey falls for Rachel. First time that happens, Rachel is pregnant. What right Ross has to be mad at him when he himself has no intentions of dating Rachel, hasn't for the last four-five years and is himself dating Mona? The second time, Ross starts kissing Charlie five minutes after she breaks up with Joey but still gives him a hard time for dating a girl he himself hadn't dated for six years. Ross had no remorse for harboring feelings for Joey's girlfriend or dating her later but Joey is supposed to always keep Ross's feelings on a pedestal? Why? Why? Why?

I can still go on and on but where is that supposedly sweet, caring guy that everyone in friends in almost every three or four episodes keep referring Ross as? Its like the characters are trying to convince the viewers too of feelings that otherwise would be absent. Nice try! But Ross is one of the most self-absorbed, self-important, haughty and loud guy I have seen on friends who is never responsible for anything that happens with him and always makes a mountain out of a mole hill (WHY ME!! when shampoo bottle explodes, MY SANDWICH!). His funny moments are those which shouldn't even happen to a person with a PhD (which he boasts of even to the tanning guy!). Throughout the 10 seasons Ross never grows up or learns from his past. He carries the effects of his parents' privileges and praises to the very end. Same with trust issues due to failed marriage with Carol or screaming episodes after his failed marriage with Emily. 

Ugh! by the end of the show I can't even look up at him. Rachel should have just taken up her dream job in Paris. Ross Geller is the absolute worst.

Feel free to share your own views in the comments section.